Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Making New Friends

Friendship is a funny thing when you are an adult.

I have found that the older I get, the harder it is to make friends.

As a kid, and even a teenager, you are at the same place in you life as most of your peers, but as you get older that changes.

I got married pretty young, which instantly put me in a different place than my friends. While I was going to school full time, working 2-3 jobs and coming home to my husband every night, they were full time students who had part time jobs and partied full time. I tried so hard to stay in touch with my friends, but they were quick to write me off, because I lived a "boring" life in comparison to their party filled lives.

In the years between being written off by long time childhood friends and today I have made a small handful of friends whom I love very much. the problem is that we don't live in the same cities anymore. Hell, we don't even live in the same time zones!

A year ago, we moved to a new city. I have been trying since we got here to make some friends, but as an adult this has been no easy task.

I have found that most people my age are just in a different place in their lives and have no interest in a married gal with a baby on the way. Then there are the people who have kids, but aren't interested in being friends because I don't technically have a kid yet. My favorite though, are the people that have all of their friends and don't seem to be interested in making any new ones.

Two of the guys that my husband works with have wives close to my age. I was friendly with both of them and we hung out from time to time, but once they met each other I ceased to exist. They both have kids so they hang out all the time. They have no problem calling me when they need a baby sitter, but when it comes to doing something fun I am not invited.

Maybe they think I wouldn't be interested, but really I just want friends and I would love to hang out.

Why does it have to matter if I have kids or if I am married or what I do for a living? Why can't it be like when we were 7?

I am so sick of trying to maintain and/or build new friendships when the other person doesn't give a shit. I am done helping other people, when they never reciprocate. I am sick of being forgotten by people. Mostly, I am sick of being used by other people. All I want is a friend. A friend to get together with, someone to talk to, someone who doesn't just want to use me.

Making friends as an adult SUCKS!!

1 comment:

  1. Making friends does suck!! I feel like even when I make new ones they already have their "better" friends whom they chose to do things with first. Plus all they want to do is party downtown anyways. Thank god for the Internet and the ability to stay in touch across time zones :)