Friendship is a funny thing when you are an adult.
I have found that the older I get, the harder it is to make friends.
As a kid, and even a teenager, you are at the same place in you life as most of your peers, but as you get older that changes.
I got married pretty young, which instantly put me in a different place than my friends. While I was going to school full time, working 2-3 jobs and coming home to my husband every night, they were full time students who had part time jobs and partied full time. I tried so hard to stay in touch with my friends, but they were quick to write me off, because I lived a "boring" life in comparison to their party filled lives.
In the years between being written off by long time childhood friends and today I have made a small handful of friends whom I love very much. the problem is that we don't live in the same cities anymore. Hell, we don't even live in the same time zones!
A year ago, we moved to a new city. I have been trying since we got here to make some friends, but as an adult this has been no easy task.
I have found that most people my age are just in a different place in their lives and have no interest in a married gal with a baby on the way. Then there are the people who have kids, but aren't interested in being friends because I don't technically have a kid yet. My favorite though, are the people that have all of their friends and don't seem to be interested in making any new ones.
Two of the guys that my husband works with have wives close to my age. I was friendly with both of them and we hung out from time to time, but once they met each other I ceased to exist. They both have kids so they hang out all the time. They have no problem calling me when they need a baby sitter, but when it comes to doing something fun I am not invited.
Maybe they think I wouldn't be interested, but really I just want friends and I would love to hang out.
Why does it have to matter if I have kids or if I am married or what I do for a living? Why can't it be like when we were 7?
I am so sick of trying to maintain and/or build new friendships when the other person doesn't give a shit. I am done helping other people, when they never reciprocate. I am sick of being forgotten by people. Mostly, I am sick of being used by other people. All I want is a friend. A friend to get together with, someone to talk to, someone who doesn't just want to use me.
Making friends as an adult SUCKS!!
Showing posts with label marraige. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marraige. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Our Journey of Love
Life is a journey.
No matter your age, or place in life there is always a journey.
Love is a journey. The journey doesn't just end when you fall in love. The journey continues everyday.
When I was 17 I started dating my best friend. We had been friends for years, but he finally got up the guts to ask me out. That was 7 years ago today.
At 17, I may have seemed like a confident, smart ass teenager on the inside, but really I was an insecure girl just trying to find her way. After dating for less than 6 months I knew that I was in love, but I was afraid to let myself be vulnerable. After all, he was leaving for Marine Corps boot camp. The night before he left (July 19) he professed his love to me. When he said those the little words, I actually just said "Thank You."
I was over the moon happy (and head of heels in love), but I was scared. What if I wasn't enough. What if when he came back, he would realize that there were so many girls out there who were skinnier than me, prettier than me and smarter than me. What if he realized he could do better?
That is one of the greatest lessons that love has taught me, that I am good enough. He loves me for all of things that make me the person I am. You have to love yourself before you can fully let someone in. I am who I am and I own it. If you change who you are for someone then they don't really love you, do they? That's why our love is great. He loves me for exactly who I am.
After boot camp my love went to training in Florida, then Fresno, CA and then finally he was stationed in San Diego, CA. We flew to see each other as often as possible during all of his training. We grew more and more in love every day, even though we didn't get to see each other all the time.
After many months of a long distance relationship I made a huge decision. I decided to pack my bags (3 to be exact) and hop on a plane and Move to San Diego, CA where the love of my life was stationed. So, 6 days after my high school graduation I did just that, and it was the best move I have ever made!
My journey to find love had taken me 2500 miles from home and it was the best thing I could have ever done!
A year after I moved to San Diego, I married the love of my life. Our life hasn't been a cake walk since then. We will have been married 5 years this June and of those 5 years we have only lived together for 3 of them. We have been through 3 deployments plus 6 different TDY (temporary duty) assignments.
Being apart hasn't always been easy, but I truly believe that we grew closer while we were geographically miles apart. There have been tears and heartache, lonely nights, empty days, yelling and making up. There have been days when I wasn't sure how much more time apart I could take, days where I was so angry with the Marine Corps for taking him away, days where I took that anger out on him. There have been missed holidays, birthdays, funerals graduations and anniversaries.
I have never been good at communicating, especially when it comes to feelings. In fact, I wasn't even sure what feelings were (kidding...kind of) until I fell in love with my husband. Since were apart so often communicating became very important and I had to learn to talk about my feelings. Being apart forces you to communicate in ways you may not be used to, but you have to communicate. Being able to talk to him doesn't replace his physical presence, but it helps and makes it easier for both of us to get through the bad (and the good) together.
Today, the Marine Corps has dropped us in a new city, with new people. My amazing friends are thousands of miles away, I can't find a decent job, and my husband works 13 hours a day, but he is home and we are together so I know that everything is going to be ok. This is just the current stop on our journey of life and love.
I am so glad that 7 years ago the amazing man I call my husband got up the courage to ask me to be his girlfriend in the basement of my parents house in the middle of the night. I love him with all my heart and I can't wait to spend another 7 (and many more) years with him and see where our journey takes us.
No matter your age, or place in life there is always a journey.
Love is a journey. The journey doesn't just end when you fall in love. The journey continues everyday.
When I was 17 I started dating my best friend. We had been friends for years, but he finally got up the guts to ask me out. That was 7 years ago today.
At 17, I may have seemed like a confident, smart ass teenager on the inside, but really I was an insecure girl just trying to find her way. After dating for less than 6 months I knew that I was in love, but I was afraid to let myself be vulnerable. After all, he was leaving for Marine Corps boot camp. The night before he left (July 19) he professed his love to me. When he said those the little words, I actually just said "Thank You."
I was over the moon happy (and head of heels in love), but I was scared. What if I wasn't enough. What if when he came back, he would realize that there were so many girls out there who were skinnier than me, prettier than me and smarter than me. What if he realized he could do better?
That is one of the greatest lessons that love has taught me, that I am good enough. He loves me for all of things that make me the person I am. You have to love yourself before you can fully let someone in. I am who I am and I own it. If you change who you are for someone then they don't really love you, do they? That's why our love is great. He loves me for exactly who I am.
After boot camp my love went to training in Florida, then Fresno, CA and then finally he was stationed in San Diego, CA. We flew to see each other as often as possible during all of his training. We grew more and more in love every day, even though we didn't get to see each other all the time.
After many months of a long distance relationship I made a huge decision. I decided to pack my bags (3 to be exact) and hop on a plane and Move to San Diego, CA where the love of my life was stationed. So, 6 days after my high school graduation I did just that, and it was the best move I have ever made!
My journey to find love had taken me 2500 miles from home and it was the best thing I could have ever done!
A year after I moved to San Diego, I married the love of my life. Our life hasn't been a cake walk since then. We will have been married 5 years this June and of those 5 years we have only lived together for 3 of them. We have been through 3 deployments plus 6 different TDY (temporary duty) assignments.
Being apart hasn't always been easy, but I truly believe that we grew closer while we were geographically miles apart. There have been tears and heartache, lonely nights, empty days, yelling and making up. There have been days when I wasn't sure how much more time apart I could take, days where I was so angry with the Marine Corps for taking him away, days where I took that anger out on him. There have been missed holidays, birthdays, funerals graduations and anniversaries.
I have never been good at communicating, especially when it comes to feelings. In fact, I wasn't even sure what feelings were (kidding...kind of) until I fell in love with my husband. Since were apart so often communicating became very important and I had to learn to talk about my feelings. Being apart forces you to communicate in ways you may not be used to, but you have to communicate. Being able to talk to him doesn't replace his physical presence, but it helps and makes it easier for both of us to get through the bad (and the good) together.
Today, the Marine Corps has dropped us in a new city, with new people. My amazing friends are thousands of miles away, I can't find a decent job, and my husband works 13 hours a day, but he is home and we are together so I know that everything is going to be ok. This is just the current stop on our journey of life and love.
I am so glad that 7 years ago the amazing man I call my husband got up the courage to ask me to be his girlfriend in the basement of my parents house in the middle of the night. I love him with all my heart and I can't wait to spend another 7 (and many more) years with him and see where our journey takes us.
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