Saturday, March 26, 2011

Our Journey of Love

Life is a journey.

No matter your age, or place in life there is always a journey.

Love is a journey. The journey doesn't just end when you fall in love. The journey continues everyday.

When I was 17 I started dating my best friend. We had been friends for years, but he finally got up the guts to ask me out. That was 7 years ago today.

At 17, I may have seemed like a confident, smart ass teenager on the inside, but really I was an insecure girl just trying to find her way. After dating for less than 6 months I knew that I was in love, but I was afraid to let myself be vulnerable. After all, he was leaving for Marine Corps boot camp. The night before he left (July 19) he professed his love to me. When he said those the little words, I actually just said "Thank You."

I was over the moon happy (and head of heels in love), but I was scared. What if I wasn't enough. What if when he came back, he would realize that there were so many girls out there who were skinnier than me, prettier than me and smarter than me. What if he realized he could do better?

That is one of the greatest lessons that love has taught me, that I am good enough. He loves me for all of things that make me the person I am. You have to love yourself before you can fully let someone in. I am who I am and I own it. If you change who you are for someone then they don't really love you, do they? That's why our love is great. He loves me for exactly who I am.

After boot camp my love went to training in Florida, then Fresno, CA and then finally he was stationed in San Diego, CA. We flew to see each other as often as possible during all of his training. We grew more and more in love every day, even though we didn't get to see each other all the time.

After many months of a long distance relationship I made a huge decision. I decided to pack my bags (3 to be exact) and hop on a plane and Move to San Diego, CA where the love of my life was stationed. So, 6 days after my high school graduation I did just that, and it was the best move I have ever made!

My journey to find love had taken me 2500 miles from home and it was the best thing I could have ever done!

A year after I moved to San Diego, I married the love of my life. Our life hasn't been a cake walk since then. We will have been married 5 years this June and of those 5 years we have only lived together for 3 of them. We have been through 3 deployments plus 6 different TDY (temporary duty) assignments.

Being apart hasn't always been easy, but I truly believe that we grew closer while we were geographically miles apart. There have been tears and heartache, lonely nights, empty days, yelling and making up. There have been days when I wasn't sure how much more time apart I could take, days where I was so angry with the Marine Corps for taking him away, days where I took that anger out on him. There have been missed holidays, birthdays, funerals graduations and anniversaries.

I have never been good at communicating, especially when it comes to feelings. In fact, I wasn't even sure what feelings were (kidding...kind of) until I fell in love with my husband. Since were apart so often communicating became very important and I had to learn to talk about my feelings. Being apart forces you to communicate in ways you may not be used to, but you have to communicate. Being able to talk to him doesn't replace his physical presence, but it helps and makes it easier for both of us to get through the bad (and the good) together.

Today, the Marine Corps has dropped us in a new city, with new people. My amazing friends are thousands of miles away, I can't find a decent job, and my husband works 13 hours a day, but he is home and we are together so I know that everything is going to be ok. This is just the current stop on our journey of life and love.

I am so glad that 7 years ago the amazing man I call my husband got up the courage to ask me to be his girlfriend in the basement of my parents house in the middle of the night. I love him with all my heart and I can't wait to spend another 7 (and many more) years with him and see where our journey takes us.

No comments:

Post a Comment