Friendship is a funny thing when you are an adult.
I have found that the older I get, the harder it is to make friends.
As a kid, and even a teenager, you are at the same place in you life as most of your peers, but as you get older that changes.
I got married pretty young, which instantly put me in a different place than my friends. While I was going to school full time, working 2-3 jobs and coming home to my husband every night, they were full time students who had part time jobs and partied full time. I tried so hard to stay in touch with my friends, but they were quick to write me off, because I lived a "boring" life in comparison to their party filled lives.
In the years between being written off by long time childhood friends and today I have made a small handful of friends whom I love very much. the problem is that we don't live in the same cities anymore. Hell, we don't even live in the same time zones!
A year ago, we moved to a new city. I have been trying since we got here to make some friends, but as an adult this has been no easy task.
I have found that most people my age are just in a different place in their lives and have no interest in a married gal with a baby on the way. Then there are the people who have kids, but aren't interested in being friends because I don't technically have a kid yet. My favorite though, are the people that have all of their friends and don't seem to be interested in making any new ones.
Two of the guys that my husband works with have wives close to my age. I was friendly with both of them and we hung out from time to time, but once they met each other I ceased to exist. They both have kids so they hang out all the time. They have no problem calling me when they need a baby sitter, but when it comes to doing something fun I am not invited.
Maybe they think I wouldn't be interested, but really I just want friends and I would love to hang out.
Why does it have to matter if I have kids or if I am married or what I do for a living? Why can't it be like when we were 7?
I am so sick of trying to maintain and/or build new friendships when the other person doesn't give a shit. I am done helping other people, when they never reciprocate. I am sick of being forgotten by people. Mostly, I am sick of being used by other people. All I want is a friend. A friend to get together with, someone to talk to, someone who doesn't just want to use me.
Making friends as an adult SUCKS!!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Gender Predictions
I blogged a few weeks ago about the gender predictions I have been doing. This week marks single digit weeks until Baby Squirrel makes it's appearance and I couldn't be more excited!
I decided to recap the gender predictions on this blog because in a few more weeks I am going to start a pool for people to guess Baby Squirrels gender and stats and the winner will get a gift from the babe!
Gender Predictions:
Chinese Gender Chart - BOY
The chart tells you if it is a boy or girl based on your age, the year and when you concieved
Ring Test - BOY
A wedding ring tied to a string will swing in circles when held over your belly if you are having a boy and back and forth if you are having a girl
Intelligender - BOY (I have PCOS, so of course it said boy!)
A kit you buy at the drug store. You pee on some powder and see what color it turns, but it says right on the box it is not meant for people with PCOS...
Color of Pee - GIRL
If your pee is a bright yellow you are having a boy and if it is a dull yellow you are having a girl
Moms Skin - BOY
If mom has acne during pregnancy it is a girl and clear, glowing skin means boy
Ask a 5 Year Old - BOY
5 year olds are very intuitive and they will tell you if it is a boy or girl
Toddler Boys - BOY
If a toddler boy shows interest in an expectant mom she is having a girl, if the toddler boy shows no interest then she is having a boy
Clumsiness - BOY
If a mom to be is extra clumsy she is having a boy, but if she is more graceful, she is having a girl
Needle Test - GIRL
This is a complicated one that my mom did...she held a needle over my belly and asked questions. The needle moved according to the answer to each question. (I can explain better another day)
Boiled Cabbage - BOY
Boil cabbage then add equal parts cabbage water and urine. If the liquid turns purple it's a girl and red it is a boy
Leg Hair - BOY
If a mom to be has leg hair that grows like crazy it is a boy, if the hair is normal then it is a girl
Cravings - GIRL
If you are craving salty things you are having a boy and sweet cravings means a girl
Sleeping Side - GIRL
If you are more comfortable on your left side it signifies a boy and more comfortable on your right side signifies a girl
Dad's Weight Gain - GIRL
If the dad to be gains weight you are having a girl and if he loses weight or stays the same, you are having a boy. In my husbands defense...he recently quit smoking (GO HIM!!) which could be the reason for the weight gain!
I have done 14 gender tests, 5 have said I'm having a GIRL and 9 have said I am having a BOY.
Right now the odds are saying it is a boy, but we will know for sure in 9 weeks!! I am so excited and I can't wait to meet my little squirrel! :)
I decided to recap the gender predictions on this blog because in a few more weeks I am going to start a pool for people to guess Baby Squirrels gender and stats and the winner will get a gift from the babe!
Gender Predictions:
Chinese Gender Chart - BOY
The chart tells you if it is a boy or girl based on your age, the year and when you concieved
Ring Test - BOY
A wedding ring tied to a string will swing in circles when held over your belly if you are having a boy and back and forth if you are having a girl
Intelligender - BOY (I have PCOS, so of course it said boy!)
A kit you buy at the drug store. You pee on some powder and see what color it turns, but it says right on the box it is not meant for people with PCOS...
Color of Pee - GIRL
If your pee is a bright yellow you are having a boy and if it is a dull yellow you are having a girl
Moms Skin - BOY
If mom has acne during pregnancy it is a girl and clear, glowing skin means boy
Ask a 5 Year Old - BOY
5 year olds are very intuitive and they will tell you if it is a boy or girl
Toddler Boys - BOY
If a toddler boy shows interest in an expectant mom she is having a girl, if the toddler boy shows no interest then she is having a boy
Clumsiness - BOY
If a mom to be is extra clumsy she is having a boy, but if she is more graceful, she is having a girl
Needle Test - GIRL
This is a complicated one that my mom did...she held a needle over my belly and asked questions. The needle moved according to the answer to each question. (I can explain better another day)
Boiled Cabbage - BOY
Boil cabbage then add equal parts cabbage water and urine. If the liquid turns purple it's a girl and red it is a boy
Leg Hair - BOY
If a mom to be has leg hair that grows like crazy it is a boy, if the hair is normal then it is a girl
Cravings - GIRL
If you are craving salty things you are having a boy and sweet cravings means a girl
Sleeping Side - GIRL
If you are more comfortable on your left side it signifies a boy and more comfortable on your right side signifies a girl
Dad's Weight Gain - GIRL
If the dad to be gains weight you are having a girl and if he loses weight or stays the same, you are having a boy. In my husbands defense...he recently quit smoking (GO HIM!!) which could be the reason for the weight gain!
I have done 14 gender tests, 5 have said I'm having a GIRL and 9 have said I am having a BOY.
Right now the odds are saying it is a boy, but we will know for sure in 9 weeks!! I am so excited and I can't wait to meet my little squirrel! :)
Friday, September 30, 2011
Military Spouse Friday Fill-in
Fridays are Military spouse Friday fill-in days over at Wife of a Sailors Blog. It is a fun way to get to know other military spouses and learn about each other each week.
Here is this weeks Friday Fill-in:
1. I always feel like I’m 84 years old, but in reality, I’m far younger than that.
I am to the point in my pregnancy where I am getting very uncomfortable and it is difficult to move. Sometimes it takes me 5 minutes just to get off the couch!
2. I wish my family understood better when I tell them I am allergic to dogs.
I am severely allergic to dogs and my in-laws just DON'T get it! When we go to their house they refuse to put the dogs outside or in the basement. My husband will put them in the basement and then EVERYONE goes down to be with them because they are lonely...leaving me upstairs...ALONE! I was there a few weeks ago and they let their 100+lb jump up and shove his paws into my pregnant belly. The dogs can't b left outside or in the basement, but it's ok for me to have to go sit on the front porch in the snow so that I can catch my breath and stop wheezing. It's not like they are small dogs either. They have a 100+lb golden with TONS of fur and a 50ish lb pit/lab mix. SO damn frustrating!
3. If you saw me when I feel like getting pretty , you’d think I was a total girly-girl, but if you saw me any other day , you’d think I was a tomboy through-and-through.
I do love to get dressed up. I love a cute pair of heels, a pretty dress and make-up! I love to feel pretty and sexy, I just don't take the time to do it very often. I am a billion years pregnant and if I put make-up on I just sweat it off in about 3.2 minutes. And seriously...lets not even talk about trying to fit my giant swollen ankles into a cute pair of heels!
4. I feel like I’m in a totally different universe when I'm with military families vs civilian families.
I have a lot of military friends and I have a lot of civilian friends. I absolutely adore all of them for their own reasons. The military world is just so different than the civilian world. A milspouse friend of mine posted this on Facebook yesterday and it kind of explains the difference:
5. In honor of this being MFF #60… 60 months ago (exactly 5 years ago, so September 30, 2006) I lived in a duplex in San Diego, CA with a roommate and my life was totally different because of SO many reasons.
It was my freshman year of college and I was living with a milspouse. I was not married, but I was engaged to my husband. My fiance and the roommates husband were deployed to Japan. I was a full time student, working 40hrs a week and partying like it was my job. I was living off of $20 a week for food and struggling to make the bills, but I was too proud to ask for help. It was a time in my life where I learned so much about myself and what I was capable of and I learned so much about life and the world. I would never trade that time of my life for anything! Plus, I truly feel like that deployment helped my relationship with my husband (fiance at the time) grow!
Here is this weeks Friday Fill-in:
1. I always feel like I’m 84 years old, but in reality, I’m far younger than that.
I am to the point in my pregnancy where I am getting very uncomfortable and it is difficult to move. Sometimes it takes me 5 minutes just to get off the couch!
2. I wish my family understood better when I tell them I am allergic to dogs.
I am severely allergic to dogs and my in-laws just DON'T get it! When we go to their house they refuse to put the dogs outside or in the basement. My husband will put them in the basement and then EVERYONE goes down to be with them because they are lonely...leaving me upstairs...ALONE! I was there a few weeks ago and they let their 100+lb jump up and shove his paws into my pregnant belly. The dogs can't b left outside or in the basement, but it's ok for me to have to go sit on the front porch in the snow so that I can catch my breath and stop wheezing. It's not like they are small dogs either. They have a 100+lb golden with TONS of fur and a 50ish lb pit/lab mix. SO damn frustrating!
3. If you saw me when I feel like getting pretty , you’d think I was a total girly-girl, but if you saw me any other day , you’d think I was a tomboy through-and-through.
I do love to get dressed up. I love a cute pair of heels, a pretty dress and make-up! I love to feel pretty and sexy, I just don't take the time to do it very often. I am a billion years pregnant and if I put make-up on I just sweat it off in about 3.2 minutes. And seriously...lets not even talk about trying to fit my giant swollen ankles into a cute pair of heels!
4. I feel like I’m in a totally different universe when I'm with military families vs civilian families.
I have a lot of military friends and I have a lot of civilian friends. I absolutely adore all of them for their own reasons. The military world is just so different than the civilian world. A milspouse friend of mine posted this on Facebook yesterday and it kind of explains the difference:
I don't agree with all the statements, but some of them are so true. And, for the record, I truly love all my friends the same. I don't value military friends over civilian friends or vice versa. I value my friends for who they are and the different relationships that we have!!
5. In honor of this being MFF #60… 60 months ago (exactly 5 years ago, so September 30, 2006) I lived in a duplex in San Diego, CA with a roommate and my life was totally different because of SO many reasons.
It was my freshman year of college and I was living with a milspouse. I was not married, but I was engaged to my husband. My fiance and the roommates husband were deployed to Japan. I was a full time student, working 40hrs a week and partying like it was my job. I was living off of $20 a week for food and struggling to make the bills, but I was too proud to ask for help. It was a time in my life where I learned so much about myself and what I was capable of and I learned so much about life and the world. I would never trade that time of my life for anything! Plus, I truly feel like that deployment helped my relationship with my husband (fiance at the time) grow!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Gender Predictions
SO...I have a super secret (not really) blog with baby stuff on it. I have been doing gender predictions to find out what Baby Squirrel is going to be. My lovely husband and I have decided not to find out the sex of our baby so I have been having fun with the old wives tales trying to guess what the baby will be. I posted another one today, so I thought I would share it here.
Yesterday I was 28 weeks pregnant!
That means I have officially entered my 3rd trimester!
This is getting real now! Just 12 short weeks from now I will be meeting my sweet little baby!
This week I am going to tackle the old wives tale about cravings.
A friend of mine from culinary school told me about this old wives tale yesterday, so I decided to share it here. According to this tale if the mother to be is craving sweet snacks she is going to have a girl. If the mother to be is craving salty snacks she is going to have a boy.
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| Courtesy of Google Images |
My food cravings have been fairly regular throughout this whole pregnancy. Early on when I was nauseous ALL the time, all I could eat was cinnamon raisin bagels with peanut butter. From about week 12 on I have craved orange juice and mashed potatoes. The last 3 weeks ALL I have wanted is a yellow cake cupcake with chocolate frosting!! (In fact, I am still dreaming of that damn cupcake!)
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| Courtesy of Google Images |
All of those foods are sweets...well, except the mashed potatoes. But, for the most part I have craved sweets, which means that I am having...A GIRL!!
That brings our totals now to:
Boy: 9 - 75%
Girl: 3 - 25%
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Worry and Panic
Panic has started to set in.
I am 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I have started to panic.
I have been panicing about everything!
Early in this pregnancy we decided to forgo the testing for downs syndrom and other chromosomal abnormalities. It was not covered by our insurance and for other various personal reasons we decided not to go down that road.
While I am still certain that we made the right choice, I have started to panic thinking that something is going to wrong with my baby. I feel like if something is wrong, it is all my fault and somehow by not having that test I have hurt my baby. (*If you want to judge me for not having the test, be my guest, but please keep it to yourself!)
I worry, all day long, that I am not going to be a good mom. What if my kid doesn't like me? What if I am just a crappy mom? Am I going to ruin my child's life?
I want to have a relationship with my child like I have with my mom. My dad and I don't really have a great relationship. I was always trying to please him and I was never good enough. I don't ever want my child to feel that way...EVER! I worry my child will feel that way about me though.
I have 13 weeks to go, but we have so much to do around our house. I worry that it won't get done. I worry that we will have to bring the baby home to a crappy house that is a nightmare for a baby because of all the unfinished projects laying around.
Basically, in a nut shell...I am a nut! I am panicking about the little things and worry about things I have no control over.
I need to get my overly emotional self together and relax. All this stress can't be good for the baby! (One more thing to add my list of things to worry about!)
I am 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I have started to panic.
I have been panicing about everything!
Early in this pregnancy we decided to forgo the testing for downs syndrom and other chromosomal abnormalities. It was not covered by our insurance and for other various personal reasons we decided not to go down that road.
While I am still certain that we made the right choice, I have started to panic thinking that something is going to wrong with my baby. I feel like if something is wrong, it is all my fault and somehow by not having that test I have hurt my baby. (*If you want to judge me for not having the test, be my guest, but please keep it to yourself!)
I worry, all day long, that I am not going to be a good mom. What if my kid doesn't like me? What if I am just a crappy mom? Am I going to ruin my child's life?
I want to have a relationship with my child like I have with my mom. My dad and I don't really have a great relationship. I was always trying to please him and I was never good enough. I don't ever want my child to feel that way...EVER! I worry my child will feel that way about me though.
I have 13 weeks to go, but we have so much to do around our house. I worry that it won't get done. I worry that we will have to bring the baby home to a crappy house that is a nightmare for a baby because of all the unfinished projects laying around.
Basically, in a nut shell...I am a nut! I am panicking about the little things and worry about things I have no control over.
I need to get my overly emotional self together and relax. All this stress can't be good for the baby! (One more thing to add my list of things to worry about!)
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A Big Day!
Today is a big day in our house...
Today I am 24 weeks pregnant.
24 weeks...should I have to deliver after this point, the odds of survival are pretty good. I feel like after today I can really take a big deep breath and relax a little. I know that won't happen, but I can do it if I want. :)
Today I am 13 weeks from being full term.
Today I am 16 weeks from my due date.
This is getting real folks. In just 16 weeks I will be holding my sweet baby squirrel! That is so painfully exciting! I really want to scream from the roof tops that I get to meet my baby in just 16 weeks.
I love watching my husband get excited about meeting our baby. Some days he gets so excited, he is almost giddy! He can't wait to meet our baby squirrel either.
But, what really makes today abig HUGE day in our house...
I am taking out my tongue ring.
I got my tongue pierced while I was college and my husband was deployed overseas. I had to do it while he was gone because he doesn't like piercings. He is ok with tattoo, but he thinks that piercings are mutilating your body.
He didn't hate the piercing or anything, he just isn't a fan. When I did it, years ago, I promised that I would take it out when I got pregnant with our first child. That's when it is truly time to grow up.
When I got pregnant this time I didn't take it out right away because I know that things can change very quickly. I'd had it happen before, so I told my husband that I would take it out when I was 12 weeks pregnant and the risk of miscarriage went way down.
When the 12 week mark came and went, I said I would take it out eventually.
A few weeks ago he asked me when it was going to come out. I told him it would be out before that baby made it's entrance into the world. But apparently that wasn't a good enough answer for him. He wanted a date. So after so serious feet dragging I decided I would take it out at 24 weeks. Viability.
Sunday night my lovely husband reminded me that Tuesday was the "BIG" day. I'm not going to lie...I got a little panicky. I don't know why, but I did.
Taking my tongue ring out means that this is real...I am really going to be a MOM!!
So there ya have it folks...it is a big day in our house. All because I am taking my tongue ring out...and of course because I am 24 weeks pregnant and I get to meet my baby sooner rather than later!
Today I am 24 weeks pregnant.
24 weeks...should I have to deliver after this point, the odds of survival are pretty good. I feel like after today I can really take a big deep breath and relax a little. I know that won't happen, but I can do it if I want. :)
Today I am 13 weeks from being full term.
Today I am 16 weeks from my due date.
This is getting real folks. In just 16 weeks I will be holding my sweet baby squirrel! That is so painfully exciting! I really want to scream from the roof tops that I get to meet my baby in just 16 weeks.
I love watching my husband get excited about meeting our baby. Some days he gets so excited, he is almost giddy! He can't wait to meet our baby squirrel either.
But, what really makes today a
I am taking out my tongue ring.
I got my tongue pierced while I was college and my husband was deployed overseas. I had to do it while he was gone because he doesn't like piercings. He is ok with tattoo, but he thinks that piercings are mutilating your body.
He didn't hate the piercing or anything, he just isn't a fan. When I did it, years ago, I promised that I would take it out when I got pregnant with our first child. That's when it is truly time to grow up.
When I got pregnant this time I didn't take it out right away because I know that things can change very quickly. I'd had it happen before, so I told my husband that I would take it out when I was 12 weeks pregnant and the risk of miscarriage went way down.
When the 12 week mark came and went, I said I would take it out eventually.
A few weeks ago he asked me when it was going to come out. I told him it would be out before that baby made it's entrance into the world. But apparently that wasn't a good enough answer for him. He wanted a date. So after so serious feet dragging I decided I would take it out at 24 weeks. Viability.
Sunday night my lovely husband reminded me that Tuesday was the "BIG" day. I'm not going to lie...I got a little panicky. I don't know why, but I did.
Taking my tongue ring out means that this is real...I am really going to be a MOM!!
So there ya have it folks...it is a big day in our house. All because I am taking my tongue ring out...and of course because I am 24 weeks pregnant and I get to meet my baby sooner rather than later!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Remembering a Hero. Our Hero. And the Foundation of Our Family.
On Saturday August 6 my family held a memorial service for my grandpa.
He passed away on November 5, 2007 at the age of 87. My grandmother followed him just a few short months later on April 17, 2008 just 2 months shy of her 90th birthday. They had been married for 65 years, raised 4 children, had 10 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren.
My grandpa fought in World War II. He was a Major in the US Army. He served throughout Europe while his wife was at home with their youngest child. He was shot in the war and spent a full year in a hospital recovering. For his service to our country he received two purple hearts.
With his death and funeral falling so close to Veteran's day there were not enough people to give him his full military honors that he deserved. For that reason, we had a memorial service to remember the two people who meant so much to us.
They are both truly missed in our family and everyone was eager to be there to honor them.
The service was a full military honors service for my grandpa, but it was also a time to remember my grandma, who was the foundation of our family.
When my grandpa was choosing their burial plot years ago, he specifically chose a spot under a large tree. He always said that he chose that one so that when people came to visit them they would be comfortable in the shade. When we arrived at the cemetery that Saturday it was raining. When the service was about to start the family gathered under the tree to get out of the rain, just as he would have wanted. And then, as if he were watching over us, the rain stopped. It stopped just until everyone was in their car after the service, then it poured. But, we all knew he was there with us.
We buried them 4 years ago, but there is something so devastatingly final about the shots being fired and taps being play. It was like a wound that had been healing for almost 4 years had been freshly opened again. I have missed my grandpa every single day, but this day I felt like the hole in my heart was being ripped open.
My amazing husband was a part of the ceremony and he read the meaning of folding the flag as they folded it. He loved my grandpa and my grandpa loved him like he was his own grandson. He was so proud of him for being a Marine. I know he was honored to have him be part of it all.
After the military portion of the service was finished, we had a family service. The ivy wreath was empty and each person came up and told a story about my grand parents. As each person finished their story they put a flower in the wreath. It was such a wonderful way to remember them. Even a few of the great grand kids that are old enough to remember them stood in front of us and spoke. People spoke of how they know they are with us every day, funny stories or something they will never forget.
The memory wreath looked really nice when we were done. Before we left the cemetery My mom and aunt filled a small vase with flowers, one for each person who couldn't be there. They now have 16 great grand children and the 17th is on the way, so they left a flower for each person so that they knew we were all thinking about them.
My grandpa was one of the best people in my life. I saw him all the time. He always had an excuse to see me and to spend time together. When I was in high school my grandma went in to a nursing home. I went and visited with her 3 days a week and I would drive out to his house 2-3 times a week just to chat with him. I would call to tell him I was on my way and he would put a beer and a soda in the freezer. When I got there we would sit and chat over drinks. I loved spending time with him. When I moved away he bought a cell phone so he could call me and I wouldn't get charged for it. We had a weekly phone date.
I am certain that he is the reason I am pregnant. He always said we would be good parents. My due date is December 21, which I feel is his doing. He loved Christmas and in my crazy mind I feel like he is showing me that he loves our baby to be and that hes got our back.
I miss him.
I miss them both.
He passed away on November 5, 2007 at the age of 87. My grandmother followed him just a few short months later on April 17, 2008 just 2 months shy of her 90th birthday. They had been married for 65 years, raised 4 children, had 10 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren.
My grandpa fought in World War II. He was a Major in the US Army. He served throughout Europe while his wife was at home with their youngest child. He was shot in the war and spent a full year in a hospital recovering. For his service to our country he received two purple hearts.
With his death and funeral falling so close to Veteran's day there were not enough people to give him his full military honors that he deserved. For that reason, we had a memorial service to remember the two people who meant so much to us.
They are both truly missed in our family and everyone was eager to be there to honor them.
The service was a full military honors service for my grandpa, but it was also a time to remember my grandma, who was the foundation of our family.
When my grandpa was choosing their burial plot years ago, he specifically chose a spot under a large tree. He always said that he chose that one so that when people came to visit them they would be comfortable in the shade. When we arrived at the cemetery that Saturday it was raining. When the service was about to start the family gathered under the tree to get out of the rain, just as he would have wanted. And then, as if he were watching over us, the rain stopped. It stopped just until everyone was in their car after the service, then it poured. But, we all knew he was there with us.
We buried them 4 years ago, but there is something so devastatingly final about the shots being fired and taps being play. It was like a wound that had been healing for almost 4 years had been freshly opened again. I have missed my grandpa every single day, but this day I felt like the hole in my heart was being ripped open.
My amazing husband was a part of the ceremony and he read the meaning of folding the flag as they folded it. He loved my grandpa and my grandpa loved him like he was his own grandson. He was so proud of him for being a Marine. I know he was honored to have him be part of it all.
After the military portion of the service was finished, we had a family service. The ivy wreath was empty and each person came up and told a story about my grand parents. As each person finished their story they put a flower in the wreath. It was such a wonderful way to remember them. Even a few of the great grand kids that are old enough to remember them stood in front of us and spoke. People spoke of how they know they are with us every day, funny stories or something they will never forget.
The memory wreath looked really nice when we were done. Before we left the cemetery My mom and aunt filled a small vase with flowers, one for each person who couldn't be there. They now have 16 great grand children and the 17th is on the way, so they left a flower for each person so that they knew we were all thinking about them.
My grandpa was one of the best people in my life. I saw him all the time. He always had an excuse to see me and to spend time together. When I was in high school my grandma went in to a nursing home. I went and visited with her 3 days a week and I would drive out to his house 2-3 times a week just to chat with him. I would call to tell him I was on my way and he would put a beer and a soda in the freezer. When I got there we would sit and chat over drinks. I loved spending time with him. When I moved away he bought a cell phone so he could call me and I wouldn't get charged for it. We had a weekly phone date.
I am certain that he is the reason I am pregnant. He always said we would be good parents. My due date is December 21, which I feel is his doing. He loved Christmas and in my crazy mind I feel like he is showing me that he loves our baby to be and that hes got our back.
I miss him.
I miss them both.
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